For years, I have tried to be a consistent blogger. So far, I think I’ve had started and abandoned at least ten blogs, on various platforms including WordPress, Blogspot, Medium, and some other places my blogger friends would suggest as “really cool” and “much better than WordPress!”. The reasons behind switching platforms every time I started a new blog were mainly two:
1. Guilt — The feeling of starting a new blog on a platform where you already have one; one that you left high and dry, whose potential you overlooked selfishly before planning to write on all your new and exciting ideas in a fresh, better-looking blog, is unbearable.
2. Somehow, I used to feel that changing platforms would have some positive effect on my writing and determination to be consistent blogger. I have done this with diaries and notebooks too. There was a time, I’d take the excess diaries that my father would get during New Year, to “write”, and after writing some nonsense or doodling on the first ten pages, I’d move on to another diary/notebook ’cause the previous one was now contaminated — a glaring example of my inability to use a brand new hardbound diary for carefully penning down interesting ideas that’d eventually come together as fodder for the literary masterpiece I’d publish at 24, which’d get me a modest 20,000 likes (more than that means I’m too popular and a popular 24-year-old writer in India means “shit”) on my Facebook page, while intelligent girls from academia in DU and JNU would write me fan letters asking if I’m single.
Now, I cannot say for sure what this trait says about me. But I’m willing to guess — and I’m willing because I have thought about this more than I should have — that it probably means I am fickle and/or an escapist. Throughout my years from school to college, my parents, along with my close friends, have always said that I am fickle and restless and unless I settle down in my head with what I want to do in life, I’ll never succeed.
Which is actually true. Now, as I write about this, I’m reminded of other examples, of being myself.
Since as far back as middle school, up till college, at the start of every session in every year, for the first month, I’d be super-diligent. I’d study every day; sometimes, even complete the next two chapters all by myself. I’d show off in class. I think after a point, my classmates realized that iska toh aisahi chalta hai and stopped giving me bhao, and without fail, within the end of first month or middle of second month, I’d be back to being my casual, slacker self. At times, for no apparent reason, I’d get excited by something that’d catch my fancy and I’d totally make up my mind to become a behemoth genius in that field, and that’d last for a month or two, tops. On that note, since the age of five, I’ve had plans to be — off the top of my head — (chronologically) painter, actor, scientist, singer, cricketer (preferably all-rounder, and a fast bowling one, because I liked Flintoff, Cairns and Kallis, and later when I realized I can’t run so much all the time, I chose to be a left-arm orthodox bowler), cricket commentator (when I realized I’m too fat, lazy and incompetent to play professional cricket), a WWE superstar (yes, judge me), a WWE commentator (Guess why?), a rockstar (preferably, singer-songwriter-guitarist-keyboard player-mixer-arranger-and-producer. Oh and I’d write all lyrics too), a filmmaker (this is something that I’m still interested in and I always will be — more on this in later posts), a screenwriter, a copywriter (I was a copywriter professionally for a while), study MBA (I don’t know why I thought of that), a civil servant, and then finally, a journalist.
I think the only reason I stopped at “journalist” and actually stuck to it is because I’m too old to fool around with my career and my father’s money. Besides, it’s something, I feel, that comes easily to me. I like this trade and contrary to how I’d grumble in J-school regarding journalism being not my “thing”, now, I feel I can be good at this if I just focus and not jump around from one thing to another.
Which brings me to “blogging”. As you can see, I did blog here, at least thrice a month, on an average, in early 2015. If you notice, as the months progressed, the frequency of posts decreased and after April, I think, there has been no post. I think that should tell you a lot.
However, I plan to restart/reboot this blog. I already have a blog for my news pieces. That is something I have plans about. Or at least, I intend to have a plan about it ’cause if I don’t, there goes my career down the drain. As for this blog, I have no plans this time, honestly. No grand plans to win an Indiblogger award. As someone interested in wanting to improve his writing, the craft of it, to discover new, fresh ways to express myself through language, I’m going to use this blog as a writing exercise. So expect lots of nonsense and meaninglessness, if you come across this. There are chances you won’t because I will pass this blog’s URL to someone only when I want that person to read it. So here’s my first post in a long time. Hope, I’ll return here soon and write.
If not, this shall stand as a testament to my singular consistency in being, like my father says, boddo phickel minded!